Outfox Stories: stories to read and AI adventures to play, no account needed
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Chapter by
alex_izeri · 22 Dec 2023 -
Morning-after regret and all kinds of awkwardness await Eddie before he even has his first cup of coffee. As he and Nick embark on an epic quest to clean his basement, he discovers several things his grandfather kept hidden, including a strange old ring.
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We all jumped as a peal of thunder crackled through the bathroom and someone pounded on the glass stall door.
“Let’s go, Dork,” Azir barked. “Time’s up.”
“Oh, c’mon. Just five more minutes,” Dwerk whined. “Please?”
“No! Get you ass out here right now!” He sounded like he was ready to spit brimstone. I gathered my mental energy and gave the imp a shove. The room spun around me and I grabbed onto the nearest thing, which was Nick. I could feel him trembling, his thin frame tense. I let go and backed away, my own body suddenly shaking. Quickly, I shut off the water and shoved open the stall door, stepping out onto the bath mat and grabbing for a towel. It was then that I realized that Azir had not left yet. He stood in the doorway, his arms crossed and a fearsome scowl on his face as I hastily wrapped the towel around my waist.
“Well?” he asked. “Anything to report?”
I glanced down at Dwerk, the little imp cowering behind Azir’s legs. Should I tell him? I certainly had plenty to complain about, and Azir had made it sound like there would be dire consequences for Dwerk if he broke the rules. But did I really want him to be punished? After a moment, I shook my head. “Nope, everything went fine. And I’m sure he’ll tell you the same thing.”
“I don’t give a shit what he has to say,” Azir said, kicking backward and sending Dwerk squealing across the bedroom.
“Boy, you’re in a bad mood,” I said, grabbing a second towel and handing it in to Nick. “Did your appointment cancel on you?”
Azir snarled, hellfire dancing in his orange eyes. “I wish he had. The pious bastard led me on for over an hour, and then announced that my temptations had only brought him closer to the church and renewed his faith in You-Know-Who.” And just in case I didn’t know who, he pointed up at the ceiling.
“What, you can’t say God?” I asked.
“Of course I can,” he snapped. “It’s just when a demon says it, it tends to draw a lot of unwanted attention. Now, I have to go explain this waste of an evening to my superior. Come, Twat, we’re leaving.”
“Hey, you’re supposed to tell me about—” But they were already gone, leaving the faint scent of …
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Colm's party splits one silver a month. So when he overhears about a dungeon nobody's logged yet, he doesn't wait for the rest of his crew. He grabs the party healer, Agnes, burns their emergency teleport scroll, and goes in.
They come out with more gold than any of them have ever seen. Agnes comes out a little different.
She cooks better now. She's friendlier, too. Much friendlier. And there's something purple living in her that's been sealed in a box for a thousand years and is very, very bored.
Aldous was an alchemist once. And after relentless experiments he's now a colony of slugs who can wear anyone he likes, and he's decided Colm is the closest thing he has to a friend. He's promised to let his hosts keep control most of the time.
He's lying.
The clerk counted my pay out one coin at a time, slowly, like each one hurt her personally.
“Eleven copper,” she said.
“The posting said fifteen.”
“The farmer docked you four. For the hat.”
“The goat ate my hat.”
“He says it gave her a stomachache.”
The farmer told us she was a very special goat. He made us walk ten steps behind her the whole way so she wouldn't get nervous. She was not nervous. She ate my hat, and then, apparently, she charged me for it.
I scooped the coin…
They come out with more gold than any of them have ever seen. Agnes comes out a little different.
She cooks better now. She's friendlier, too. Much friendlier. And there's something purple living in her that's been sealed in a box for a thousand years and is very, very bored.
Aldous was an alchemist once. And after relentless experiments he's now a colony of slugs who can wear anyone he likes, and he's decided Colm is the closest thing he has to a friend. He's promised to let his hosts keep control most of the time.
He's lying.
The clerk counted my pay out one coin at a time, slowly, like each one hurt her personally.
“Eleven copper,” she said.
“The posting said fifteen.”
“The farmer docked you four. For the hat.”
“The goat ate my hat.”
“He says it gave her a stomachache.”
The farmer told us she was a very special goat. He made us walk ten steps behind her the whole way so she wouldn't get nervous. She was not nervous. She ate my hat, and then, apparently, she charged me for it.
I scooped the coin…