Outfox Stories: stories to read and AI adventures to play, no account needed
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Chapter by
redactedthegreat · 05 Oct 2022 -
A woman pilfers a crystal that causes her to grow a dick.
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The line in front of the women's restrooms always pisses me off. We all know women take longer in the bathroom, we all know half the population is female, and yet we put the same number of toilets in each room. Sometimes more in the men's room, if you count urinals.
One night, while out drinking, I reached a breaking point. I got up to go to the bathroom, and was confronted with a line at least eight women long.
"Fuck it" I muttered and walked straight into the men's room. I noticed a few odd looks from the women stuck in line, and a bit of surprise from the men inside; but I wasn't here to make a statement, I had business.
The men's room wasn't even close to capacity; most of the urinals were in use, but more than half the stalls were empty. I took one near the back and locked the door.
As I finished up, I couldn't help overhearing a hushed conversation happening in the stall next to mine. It was a wheelchair-accessible stall, all the way against the back wall. It sounded like a couple guys were using it for some sort of drug deal.
"How do I know it works?" The first guy said, barely above a whisper.
"You'll feel it right away, it's immediate." The second reassured him, more casually.
"Then I'll do it here, if it works I'll pay for it." The first guy bargained.
"No way, money first. It works, trust me." There was a brief lull in their conversation, I could only hear a faint shuffling of clothing.
At this point I was done with the stall, but I wasn't ready to leave yet. I wanted to hear what would happen next. I got dressed quietly, so I could be ready to leave in a hurry.
"Alright, here." the first guy said, as they exchanged goods. There was a brief pause, and then he asked even more quietly than before "So I just touch it with my dick?"
I had almost started to feel bad for listening in on a conversation that was clearly none of my business, but now I was curious. What the heck could they be talking about?
"Yeah bro." The second guy said, like it was the most normal thing in the world. "Just be quick the first time; some guys have a bad reaction, …
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Colm's party splits one silver a month. So when he overhears about a dungeon nobody's logged yet, he doesn't wait for the rest of his crew. He grabs the party healer, Agnes, burns their emergency teleport scroll, and goes in.
They come out with more gold than any of them have ever seen. Agnes comes out a little different.
She cooks better now. She's friendlier, too. Much friendlier. And there's something purple living in her that's been sealed in a box for a thousand years and is very, very bored.
Aldous was an alchemist once. And after relentless experiments he's now a colony of slugs who can wear anyone he likes, and he's decided Colm is the closest thing he has to a friend. He's promised to let his hosts keep control most of the time.
He's lying.
The clerk counted my pay out one coin at a time, slowly, like each one hurt her personally.
“Eleven copper,” she said.
“The posting said fifteen.”
“The farmer docked you four. For the hat.”
“The goat ate my hat.”
“He says it gave her a stomachache.”
The farmer told us she was a very special goat. He made us walk ten steps behind her the whole way so she wouldn't get nervous. She was not nervous. She ate my hat, and then, apparently, she charged me for it.
I scooped the coin…
They come out with more gold than any of them have ever seen. Agnes comes out a little different.
She cooks better now. She's friendlier, too. Much friendlier. And there's something purple living in her that's been sealed in a box for a thousand years and is very, very bored.
Aldous was an alchemist once. And after relentless experiments he's now a colony of slugs who can wear anyone he likes, and he's decided Colm is the closest thing he has to a friend. He's promised to let his hosts keep control most of the time.
He's lying.
The clerk counted my pay out one coin at a time, slowly, like each one hurt her personally.
“Eleven copper,” she said.
“The posting said fifteen.”
“The farmer docked you four. For the hat.”
“The goat ate my hat.”
“He says it gave her a stomachache.”
The farmer told us she was a very special goat. He made us walk ten steps behind her the whole way so she wouldn't get nervous. She was not nervous. She ate my hat, and then, apparently, she charged me for it.
I scooped the coin…
Not much to say other than chicks growing dicks (or the opposite, guys getting boxes) is always a treat to read. Really hope you come back to this someday.
Thank you! I have a part two in the works, but I've got a few other projects I want to tie up first. Comments like this help keep it on my mind.