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Chapter by
BMJ · 14 Jul 2023 -
Jake is ready to move on from his on-and-off girlfriend, Sue, as he gets ready to enjoy one last summer with his friends before heading off to college. Sue isn't having any of it and goes as far as to cast a spell on Jake to ensure that she'll be the closest person to him, but it doesn't go exactly as she had planned.
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Jake was out enjoying a Saturday at the mall with his friends. They were enjoying the excitement and energy that comes with enjoying a final summer together before they all went their separate ways for college and other plans in the fall. He felt a need to spend as much time as he could with his friends to make up for time lost during high school when Jake was dating Sue, his on and off again girlfriend with a controlling personality, great looks, less-than-average common sense, and a general lack of critical thinking skills. That was at least the polite description that Jake had come up with in his head to describe Sue. He wasn’t going to let her take another summer away from him, especially not after how she stood him up at their senior prom just two months prior.
After walking around the mall for a couple of hours and spending a fair bit of time at the arcade, Jake and his friends settled down at a table in the food court to take a break and figure out what they were going to have for lunch. The conversation soon shifted from food to talking about Jake’s mom, Martha. The guys had always given Jake a hard time about his mom and how hot she was.
“Jake, quick question,” said Alex. “If I paid 100 dollars, could you swipe a couple of pairs of your mom’s underwear for me?”
“You know, with the way you guys obsess over my mom, I can never tell if you’re kidding or not. Also, no. She’s my mom, and I will not do that for any amount of money,” replied Jake.
“Ok, fine,” Alex continued. “But can you at least tell me what kind of underwear she’s wearing? Such as the kind she might wear with a long dress with sunflowers on it?
“That is an almost creepily specific request,” laughed Jake.
‘Well,” answered Alex. “I ask because…”
Jake turned to follow Alex’s gaze to see his mom, Martha, walking over to their table. She smiled and waved at the group, stopping behind Jake and resting her hands on his shoulders with a slight squeeze.
“Hi, Mom,” said Jake, trying to hide his embarrassment. “I didn't realize you’d be here today. Where is Dad and everyone else?”
“Oh, he’s around here somewhere trying to find us a table and something to eat. …
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No more chapters.
Honestly my biggest criticisms is the storys just too short
All the ideas are good, but I feel like it needs to be longer to flesh it out better
Thank you for the feedback, Moose. I will get right to work on fleshing this story out. I apologize for the delay. I was finishing up my summer semester of classes. I wasn't sure just how in-depth folks were wanting me to go, but I'm happy to go full bore as this seems to be a popular one.
Alright cool, is there anyplace we'll be able to see the fleshed out story? As I don't think theres any way to edit the current one?
Good news,
I contacted the support team with Outfox and sent them the full and updated version of the story. They have said they'll be able to update things for us on their end, so there shouldn't be an issue once they have done that. I really hope you all enjoy the expanded story!
The story is now updated to BMJ's latest version, and voting has been reset! Thanks BMJ, we appreciate you going above and beyond here.