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Chapter by
VexenFox · 18 Jul 2023 -
In a dystopian world of government stealth control, agents Jacob and Gordon are tasked to protect Ashley, a bubbly college student, on her vacation to an island resort. Jacob and Gordon bicker with, control, and find themselves overcome by the roles they must take on. This story features a varying third person POV, male to female possession / stealth control, a vague kidnapping plot, and two tough men being forced by circumstances to inhabit soft, female bodies.
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In the windowless confines of a government facility buried deep beneath Washington D.C., two men sat opposite each other in an unadorned room, the light from the single overhead bulb pooling around them. One was young, his buzzcut hair making him appear younger than his 28 years, and his brown eyes shone with defiance. The other was older, with the lined face of someone used to bearing weighty responsibility. His blue eyes held a stern, almost desperate look. These men were Jacob and Gordon, agents of the clandestine organization known as the CBI.
The room hummed with a quiet tension as a holographic display flickered to life between them. Images of a young woman with brown hair flashed on the screen. She looked bright, bubbly even, her smile filled with the naiveté of the privileged. Her name, the display read, was Ashley. Her father was a big shot in the government, and she was their next assignment.
Jacob leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest as his gaze darted from the hologram to his partner. The disdain in his voice was almost tangible. "So, we're playing babysitters now?"
Gordon's stern gaze remained fixed on the display. "We're protecting an innocent life, Jacob," he said, his voice tight. "An innocent life that, if lost, could plunge the country into chaos."
Jacob scoffed, unconvinced. "The rich girl's daddy has a lot of enemies, huh?"
"More than you'd think." Gordon looked at Jacob, his eyes betraying his seriousness. "This isn't just about Ashley. It's about national security."
The display changed to the image of a blonde-haired woman named Sherry and an Asian woman, labelled Barbara. "They're friends of Ashley’s. We’ve known Sherry for quite some time, but Barbara We believe Barbara is new to us. We haven’t been able to verify her identity."
Jacob's eyebrows shot up. "And we're supposed to do what? Use stealth control and become sorority sisters?"
Gordon ignored Jacob's sarcasm. "We're to protect Ashley, and if necessary, neutralize Barbara."
“Neutralize Barbara, Jesus Christ. We don’t even know who she is yet. She could just be some college student!”
There was a moment of silence as both men took in the gravity of their mission. Gordon continued, "We're to use the stealth control, as needed, to keep an eye on the girls without disrupting their holiday plans. We will be meeting them before the mission, so …
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It's a good story even if some parts feel like they are written by chat gpt.
I did experiment with getting it to stretch out a few sections, and edit some parts I wasn't happy with. Interesting you could tell -- I'll be more careful with that in the future.
I'd rather read something that was a bit shorter than ai generated. The ai parts are somewhat obvious and I always skip them because they are rather predictable.
The story itself is not bad, the story does feel a bit stretched out in certain sections, I don’t mind as I love character interaction and building up character traits, but I do feel that it comes of as inorganic when using AI. I’m not a big fan of ChatGBT as I feel like it lacks creative and makes the story feel hollow. Going back to the actual story it’s good but the ending sort of fizzled out suddenly, there is another scene with Ashley that is left out near the end and am disappointed it didn’t get written out. Overall solid story, but I would minimize use of AI, especially if you’re writing a commission piece.
Sorry for not adding in the last scene. I was already well over the word count, and didn't have an idea for how to write a second sex scene immediately after the first in a way that would still be interesting / different.
And general consensus that length does not make up for quality -- Okay! Will do better next time!